Just Your Average Mommy: There's Something To Be Said For Domesticity

**Let me start by saying that I almost didn't publish this post, because it makes me feel selfish and like I am a bad mom. But I decided if even ONE mom out there, who is struggling to find herself within the messy confines of wife and mommy-hood, reads this and realizes she's not alone (and that it does get better and it's worth it!!), then I'll take the heat from those who don't understand.

The other day, a family member of mine wrote this blog post. As a new mother, one who has worked all her life up until her child was born and has a creative/impulsive streak not to be believed, I could completely relate.

Some days, I wish I could pick up and run away - and be free from all constraints. No obligations, no schedule, no planning - just me doing what feels right, when it feels right. I'm a free-spirit. I'm a creative soul. And sometimes, I feel like a flower that is wilting because I can't quite reach the sunlight.

Sometimes, I lay in bed at night over-whelmed with the monotony that faces me the next day.

But, I love my husband, I love my daughter, and I chose them - which means I chose the obligations, I chose the schedule, I chose the planning. So I do it (and, man, I do it WELL!). Is it right? Is it healthy? I'm not sure. But I pray on it every night and every morning that God will bring some balance into my life so I'm not ALL selfish and not ALL giving.

And he has.

Because then, there are days like this. When I am so in love with staying home. When I realize how LUCKY I am to see every "first", to be her consistency, to know her every cry/laugh/whimper/hum and know exactly what it means. Days when I am simmering a stew in the slow cooker and I have all of my fall candles burning. Days when we are listening to Halloween music and dancing around the house, laughing until we can't breathe. These are the days I love, the days I cherish, the days I never - ever - want to let go of.

I try very, very hard to never take what I have for granted, because I know if it was ever taken from me I would be broken.